The Holidays Suck and I’m Lonely As F***k: Your Guide to Handling The Holiday Season By Yourself

Some of us are lucky enough to have family and friends around us during the holidays and others aren’t so lucky. Whatever your circumstances may be, I hope me telling you that you are loved and thought of brings a tiny bit of joy to your holiday mood. Also, if it didn’t do a damn thing…that’s okay too. Either way, I’m just here to help. Luckily, this year, I’m surrounded by family, friends, and loved ones. However, there’s been a couple of holiday seasons where it was just me. The first time I experienced a holiday on my own was Thanksgiving, four years ago, and that lead into the rest of the holiday season.

The first time I spent the holidays alone, I honestly didn’t know how to handle it and became very depressed. I always matched the holiday season with family and spending time with loved ones. Without that, I was lost on finding the joy of the season on my own. Two years later, when I ended up spending the holidays alone again, I was prepared. I came up with a few things to help me change my thinking and steer the feelings of loneliness into more “positive vibes”. It absolutely worked for me, and I ended up entering the next year feeling strong and powerful. Then I realized so many other people are going through the exact same thing and wanted to share my findings with you all.

(Also note, this is my own personal way that I survived the holidays by myself. It may or may not appeal to you, but hopefully you’ll find some guidance within these words.)

1.       Start goal setting for next year.

 Most of us have New Year’s Resolutions that we may or may not put actual effort into compiling. I’m here to say…stop half-assing it, sit yourself down and write out your goals from January-December for next year. This is going to take up a lot of time, thought, and evaluation…but that’s the point. On top of that, it tricks your mind into thinking positive things while raising your endorphins. You naturally become more excited about goals as your write them down. Not only will this set you up on the right path for next year, but it’ll also help you to focus your mind on the good things that are about to happen to you!


2.       Holiday movie binge watching is the key, folks.

 I know this tip sounds basic, but I promise it works. The trick is to watch holiday movies you actually enjoyed as a child or ones that you feel like you’d currently enjoy as an adult. Hell, if you’re not into “holiday movies”, compile a list of favorites and ones you’ve been meaning to watch on Netflix. This is actually a form of escapism and helps to relieve stress while killing time all at once. Plus…since you don’t have to worry about anyone else you can binge whatever you want, however you want.


3.  Go back and begin what you started, but never finished.

 How many of us have projects, ideas, books, etc., that we’ve compiled on our life’s “to-do” list but have literally done nothing to complete those ideas or passions? Yeah…I know, a lot of us. This is the perfect time to focus on the very thing you haven’t finished. Have you been playing around with that business idea? Great! It’s now time to officially do a business plan. Did you start a draft for that novel you’ve been trying to write? Awesome! Now it’s time to jump back in and finally finish the first draft.  Use this time alone to focus on you and your passions. You have time off of work, so use it productively and go after your heart’s biggest desires.


4.       Plan your very own holiday meal, for one.

 No, seriously…do it. How many times have we been to holiday parties and dinners only to find we don’t like 60% of what’s being offered? Since it’s just you, plan/cook a meal that you know you’ll enjoy! And if you’re not into cooking, that’s perfectly fine. There are plenty of restaurants, catering services, and grocery stores that will prepare fantastic holiday meals for you. Pick your favorite dishes and get excited that everything on your plate this year is going to be delicious, because it’s everything YOU want to eat. If you’re happy about what you’re eating, the chances of you caring about eating it alone will be slim to none. If anything, you’ll probably take one bite of your perfect meal and be glad no one else is there to share it with. (lol)


5.       Go volunteer somewhere and get out of your feelings.

 Look, I know spending the holidays alone isn’t the most ideal thing we’d like to do but look at it like this…your life is good enough right now to be leisurely reading this blog post and not having to worry about your next meal. Since that’s the case, go volunteer at places where people need some help this holiday season. On top of it just being a great thing to do, it’ll help to bring some “light” to your situation. You’ll realize things aren’t as bad as you make them out to be, being by yourself isn’t the worst thing in the world that could’ve happened to you, and the people you’re helping would switch places with you in a heartbeat. You’ll gain perspective on your life, while affecting other’s lives in a positive way.

 Don’t think of this time alone as a negative, but a push from the universe to focus on you. Use this time to set yourself up for an amazing 2019, and everything else will fall right into place…simply because it has no other choice but to.

Happy Holidays, yall.

-Christen T.