“I’m Educated, Attractive, Have an Amazing Career…and I’m Still Single.”
Does this sound like you? If it does, that makes sense because it’s most of us. You’ve probably taken the time to “work on yourself”, got the degree, the nice place, car, and yet you’ve been single for a while. Why is that? Why is it that most attractive, educated women have such a hard time in the relationship arena? I mean according to every book and movie, you should’ve been married by now with two kids and a dog playing in the back yard. For whatever reason, though, life just hasn’t worked out like that for you.
You seem to either meet people who are on your level, but aren’t ready for a relationship OR people who are ready for a relationship…but you don’t really want them. Look, I’m not here to guilt trip you or tell you to drop your standards. To be honest, I think anyone who gives that type of advice has no idea what they’re talking about. The moment people drop their standards is the moment they become unhappy and end up settling. Don’t do that. Now you’re probably thinking, “Well Christen…I haven’t dropped my standards and that’s the problem. No one can seem to reach them and most of these people out here aren’t really about the things they say they’re about.”
I’m here to let you know…it’s not them, it’s you. Don’t take this as me saying you’re a terrible person, take it as me saying your standards probably aren’t high enough. Before you go adding to the imaginary list in your head, let me explain what I just wrote. More than likely you’ve accepted some bullshit in your past relationships that you shouldn’t have. You probably accepted it from someone who you knew from the beginning wasn’t the right choice for you, but thought you could adjust their thinking or what they wanted. After that, you more than likely ended up in a horrible situation-ship or in a relationship with someone who didn’t really want to be there in the first place.
It’s time to up your standards when it comes to the things you accept and the people you choose. It’s also time to realize a few things about yourself. What are you accepting from people? Do you ignore red flags? Do you put time and energy into people who told you they’re not looking for something serious? Did you think you’d change that person’s mind? Don’t worry…I already know the answers (and so do you). It’s also why you’re in the predicament that you’re in right now; educated, attractive, and lonely as f**k.
Here’s my challenge to you; evaluate YOUR choices when it comes to the opposite sex. Don’t sit there and think about the horrible stuff your ex did, sit there are think about the horrible stuff you allowed your ex to do. From there, write out the number of times you knew you were going against your intuition and invited someone into your life that shouldn’t have been there. (Be honest with yourself and it’ll shock you.) Start looking at who you’re allowing into your mental and physical space and why you allowed them to be there. Most of the time the reason we end up being single for so long is because we put our energy into someone who shouldn’t of received a bit of it in the first place. On top of that, that person (usually) lets you know in some way whether they are or are not looking for the same things you are.
You’ve already devoted your time trying to change someone’s mind, make them into the person you wanted them to be, or even ignoring it all together and just “hoping for the best”. Again…don’t do that anymore. You’re single because you make crappy choices when it comes to dating. Stop worrying about someone else hitting your standards and start making sure that you’re hitting your own standards. The less toxicity you allow into your life, the more positive people and things have room to make their way in.
From this point on make a promise to yourself to only accept the things you know you deserve. Now, go and a have a healthy and prosperous and dating life. Can’t wait to see you on the other side 😉
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